How do I know if I'm gay, bisexual or lesbian?

Knowing and understanding your sexual orientation can take a lot of thought, and sometimes talking to a trusted adult or counselor can help you to understand your feelings better.

Everyone experiences their sexual orientation differently – some people know when they're very young that they are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Others don't realize this until later on.

Many teens are unsure about their sexual orientation, so don't panic! There are many supportive people and groups that can help you feel comfortable with whatever sexual orientation you have.

Keep looking for someone you trust, such as your parents, a school teacher or counselor, or some other adult you're close to.

Does a single experience define my sexual orientation?

No. Many teens have sexual experiences with the same sex but don't consider themselves bisexual, gay or lesbian. Sexual orientation refers to someone's sexual preferences, the consistent pattern of sexual arousal toward one or both genders.

This includes fantasies, conscious attractions, emotional and romantic feelings, and sexual behaviors. Sexual behavior simply refers to what you've done sexually – someone can be lesbian, gay, bisexual or straight regardless of their sexual behavior.

What can I do about harassment of those who are bisexual, lesbian or gay?

Harassment for sexual orientation is something everyone should work to end, so add your voice to the fight.

Does being lesbian, bisexual or gay put me at greater risk for STIs?

Your sexual orientation and your partner's gender doesn't change your risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection (STIs). Only your sexual behaviors and how you protect yourself affects your risk.

Whatever your partner's gender, you can take steps to protect yourself.

Reviewed By: Cynthia Gelke, MFT

Last Reviewed: October 2019