It's normal to feel angry. After all, many things in life cause anger. Maybe it was something someone said, or maybe it was something sudden and unavoidable that caused your anger. Sometimes you feel angry without even knowing why. Sometimes you feel angry at yourself. Whatever the cause, it's important not to lose your temper or resort to violence.
Anger may cause you to breathe faster or make your face flushed. Sometimes anger may cause you to react violently. Curiously, anger can make you cry.
If possible, when you are angry, first remove yourself from the situation. Fighting won't help. Cool down and figure out why you are angry, and try to look at the situation from another person's perspective.
Ways to Cope With Anger
Sort out your feelings before you try confronting the person you're angry with. Fighting will often cause you to lose discretion and lash out verbally or physically. This may cause even more damage to a relationship.
If you can't remove yourself from the situation, take deep breaths and think positive thoughts. Your first thoughts may not be completely clear, so try to talk things through logically in your mind. If you need to make an argument, deliver it calmly. People will be more inclined to listen to you if you're not making a spectacle of yourself.
If the situation is unbearable, think about happy thoughts unrelated to the situation. Wait until you can remove yourself to deal with your anger properly.
If you are angry, try to figure out what you can do to make it better.
Although you may not care at the time, anger also affects the people around you. No one wants to see you angry! That's why it usually helps to talk to someone.
If you're angry, try one of the following suggestions to make your anger go away. These may help you control your anger and prevent it from causing harm to the people around you.
- Talk to a friend, sibling, teacher, parent or adult
- Breathe and think about why you're angry
- Play a game
- Exercise
- Draw, paint or write
- Do any fun activity that will help you cool down (for example, listen to relaxing music)
- Slowly count to 10
- Stomp your feet or punch a pillow (which can't get hurt, unlike another person)
- Cry (surprisingly, it does help!)
After a while, you should address your anger and make sure the problem is fixed. Try to find the source of your anger. Make amends and talk to those you were angry at. If the issue doesn't get fixed, it may just stew in your memory forever.
Everyone gets angry, but you can learn to control your anger. Don't let your emotions get the best of you.
Youth reviewer: Lillian Fong
Last Reviewed: June 2019