Loneliness in Seniors

Loneliness is a Health Problem

“Seniors often experience a lot of loss,” Wilson says. “Friends may die or move away, retired seniors are no longer socializing at work, and physical limitations may require moving to a senior community—which provides ways to make new friends but also means losing a familiar neighborhood and connections.”

Loneliness that stems from loss and isolation correlates with earlier death, she says. Seniors without a strong social support network have a harder time getting help when they are sick or face a life-changing event. They may make more mistakes taking medications. Symptoms and chronic pain may worsen because there’s less to distract them from symptoms. Drinking and depression risks increase.

“If you can have someone come visit you when you are facing a hard time, you can deal with issues much better than when you are all alone,” Wilson says.

What You Can Do

If you are feeling lonely and sad a great deal of the time, recognize that this does not need to be a normal part of aging, Bernstein says. If you may be depressed, talk to your doctor. Many resources exist to combat both depression and loneliness.

“A great place to start is your local senior center,” Bernstein says. “Today’s seniors centers are so much more than bingo. They offer classes, trips and a whole range of activities, many suitable for young and active people in their early 60s.”

Give it more than one try. “You need to approach senior centers with realistic expectations,” Bernstein adds. “Sometimes seniors go once and because they don’t make a friend the first time, they give up and don’t go again. It may take going several times before you make some rewarding connections with new people.”

Bernstein and Wilson also recommend senior exercise classes, adult-education or community college classes and volunteering.

“Most importantly, stay active,” Wilson says. “Visit friends, go for a walk, call acquaintances and confide in someone.”

What Families Can Do

“Geographically, people are not so close to family anymore,” Bernstein says. “Kids may live on the East Coast and parents on the West Coast. That’s difficult for seniors, particularly once they’ve retired, because they don’t feel like they have a purpose the way they do in an intergenerational family. Suddenly they are not connected to the family and community the way they used to be.”

If you live far away, it might not be easy to know that your loved one has become isolated. Seniors may feel embarrassed to complain or admit they’re lonely.

“Seniors are proud,” Wilson says. “Most have been through a lot of difficult events in their lives, and they don’t want to look weak or be a burden on their kids.”

If you’re concerned about your aging relative’s isolation and loneliness, Bernstein and Wilson offer these tips:

• Call and visit as much as possible.
• During visits, talk to neighbors and find out what’s happening in your relative’s social circle.
• Put together a phone list of doctors and neighbors.
• Make sure your love one knows about nearby resources. “Take your elder to the local senior center and introduce him or her,” Wilson says. “Make sure they can see how easy it is to get there.”
• Anticipate certain times that may trigger loneliness, such as the holidays or anniversaries of births and deaths.
• Ask a neighbor check up on your relative when you can’t visit.