Change happens to everyone. Whether it’s good or bad, you have to adjust, and what matters most is how you adjust to that change. Fighting the change or pretending it didn’t happen usually creates more drama and conflict, but change is still hard.
Sarah’s Story
When I got to Columbia University for my freshman year of college, I made sure I looked as “Black” as possible so that the other Black students would know I was Black and would include me in their friend circles.
As I got to know the other Black students, though, I saw that I didn’t need to limit my dress styles, speech or music preferences to what had become popularized as Black tastes. I was surrounded by Black people who came from all over the world and from all different backgrounds.
I was accepted in my new home simply as Sarah, and I slowly learned that I didn’t need to “prove” my heritage to find acceptance.
In being welcomed without question, I found the courage to be confident in and happy with all parts of who I am. It was this security in my identity and self-worth that enabled me to simply be me, and not feel as though I needed to hide parts of myself or be different things to different people in order to be liked and included.
At college, I learned that heritage was an important part of who I was, but it wasn’t all of who I was, nor was it something that others had to validate to be true. In that discovery, I finally found my own “normal”; that is, a single, integrated identity that is fully me. Normal, as I learned, can never be boxed into a single label.
“I note the obvious difference between each sort and type, But we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” – Maya Angelou
Reviewed by: Gabriella Sariñana, MPH
Last reviewed: January 2020
College Identity
When I got to Columbia University for my freshman year of college, I made sure I looked as “Black” as possible so that the other Black students would know I was Black and would include me in their friend circles.
As I got to know the other Black students, though, I saw that I didn’t need to limit my dress styles, speech or music preferences to what had become popularized as Black tastes. I was surrounded by Black people who came from all over the world and from all different backgrounds.
I was accepted in my new home simply as Sarah, and I slowly learned that I didn’t need to “prove” my heritage to find acceptance.
In being welcomed without question, I found the courage to be confident in and happy with all parts of who I am. It was this security in my identity and self-worth that enabled me to simply be me, and not feel as though I needed to hide parts of myself or be different things to different people in order to be liked and included.
At college, I learned that heritage was an important part of who I was, but it wasn’t all of who I was, nor was it something that others had to validate to be true. In that discovery, I finally found my own “normal”; that is, a single, integrated identity that is fully me. Normal, as I learned, can never be boxed into a single label.
“I note the obvious difference between each sort and type, But we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” – Maya Angelou
Reviewed by: Gabriella Sariñana, MPH
Last reviewed: January 2020