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Ask An Expert

Talking About Herpes with Sex Partner

Toni J. Brayer

Toni J. Brayer, M.D.

California Pacific Medical Center

Sutter Pacific Medical Foundation

Question:

When should you tell a potential sex partner about herpes?

Answer:

Herpes simplex is a very common virus and can break out on any moist surface of the body. A person is contagious when there is an active herpetic lesion, and close contact must be avoided during these times.

There is also a potential for "viral shedding" even when there is no outbreak, so use of condoms is essential with any new sexual partner…all the time.

Herpes is not life threatening and announcing that you have had the virus before a romantic moment is not necessary. But the best sex happens between partners who know each other and have talked about their lives. Discussions about birth control, protection and yes, even herpes virus, should be part of a relationship that will be on-going.

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