A Parent’s Guide to Underage Drinking

Most teens test boundaries at some point. For some, that experimentation includes underage drinking.

Alcohol is the most commonly used substance among teens. They may try it for many reasons — stress, peer pressure, curiosity or simply because they see adults drinking. Sometimes it’s just because alcohol is easy to get.

While some teens may only experiment occasionally, underage drinking can lead to serious problems. “Because it’s hard to predict whether a teen will simply try alcohol or begin drinking heavily, it’s important for parents to understand the risks, recognize warning signs and know how to start the conversation,” says Daniel Brennan, M.D., a board-certified pediatrician with Sutter.

Dangers of Underage Drinking

Even occasional drinking can create serious risks for teens. Teens who drink are more likely to miss school and see their grades decline. They’re also more likely to take dangerous risks, such as getting behind the wheel after drinking.

In fact, alcohol-related car crashes are one of the leading causes of death among teenagers and young adults. Alcohol is also involved in many drownings, suicides, homicides and injuries. Drinking can affect judgment, which may lead to choices like unprotected sex and increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy.

Drinking alcohol at a young age — especially before high school — may also make teens more likely to experiment with other drugs later on, including marijuana and cocaine.

Understand Why Teens Drink

"A teen’s drinking or substance use often tells a story of what they’re feeling inside, not just what they’re doing outside." says Yasaman Ahmadieh, D.O., a board-certified pediatrician at Sutter.

The teenage years can be the most challenging and confusing periods in a young person’s life. Teens face pressures from school, family expectations, friendships and their social status. Many struggle with stress, anxiety or feelings of depression. They turn to alcohol as a way to cope — essentially attempting to self-medicate their emotions or silence the fears and worries that feel overwhelming. Understanding the reasons behind their choices, rather than just the behavior itself, is the first step in supporting them through these turbulent years.

How to Handle Teen Drinking

While it can feel like your teen isn’t listening, parents have the greatest influence. One of the best things you can do is keep the conversation about alcohol open. Here are a few ways to have a positive influence and prevent underage drinking.

Communicate clearly: Talk about family expectations and rules about alcohol use and underage drinking. Let your teen know what your rules are about alcohol — and what the consequences will be if those rules are broken.

Discuss values and traditions: Talk with your teen about the personal, family, social or religious values that shape your family’s views about alcohol. Discuss any religious or cultural traditions in your family that include the acceptable use of alcohol.

Emphasize safety: Make it clear that drinking and driving or riding with someone who has been drinking will not be tolerated. Ask your teen to call for a ride, take a cab or ride-hailing app, or call for permission to stay overnight if they or a friend who is driving has been drinking. This doesn’t give teens permission to drink; it tells them that their safety is most important.

Strategize how to handle peer pressure: You can help your teen practice ways to say “no” and suggest other activities that don’t involve alcohol.

Monitor your teen’s social activities: Get to know your teen’s friends. Know where they hang out and what they’re doing. Talk with their friends’ parents about alcohol. You can also help them find productive and safe ways to spend their time, such as joining a team or club, volunteering, getting a part-time job or taking music lessons.

Keep the lines of communication open: When your teen wants to talk about alcohol, listen to their opinions, help them make good decisions and treat them with respect. To feel comfortable talking openly with you, your teen needs to know that you won’t punish them for being honest.

Be a role model: If you drink, do so responsibly. Never drink and drive! Don’t use alcohol as a way to cope with stress, depression or anger. Don’t serve alcohol to your teens or their friends, and lock your liquor cabinet if you have one. Do not ask your teen to open a bottle of wine, bring you a beer or pour drinks. If you have a drinking problem or think you may have one, help is available. Talk to a healthcare professional, counselor or someone else you trust.

What Should I Do if My Teen Uses Alcohol?

Calmly talk about the extent of use — how often, how much, with whom, where and why. Explain why you’re concerned. Remind your teen of your rules about alcohol use and enforce the consequences for breaking them.

If you have reason to believe your teen is abusing alcohol or your efforts to enforce the rules repeatedly fail, seek help from a counselor or healthcare professional.

Helpful Resources

Talking about underage drinking isn’t always easy. But having information from knowledgeable sources about alcohol can help you address teen drinking.

• MADD: No More Victims. Parents are the most important influence in preventing underage drinking and driving. Learn how to start the conversation and help prevent tragedies.
• National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. This in-depth site includes current research, news and events, resources, FAQs and more. You can also download useful pamphlets, posters, reports, graphics and more.
• Stop Underage Drinking. This government website provides links to resources to help you discuss alcohol with your children.