Belonging in High School

Change happens to everyone. Whether it feels good or bad, you have to adjust, and what matters most is how you adjust to that change.

Fighting the change or pretending it won't happen usually creates more drama and conflict. Here is one student’s story about finding her “new normal.”

Madeline's Story

Starting high school, I was full of goals. I wanted to play sports, be involved in theater, have friends and be (somewhat) popular. Soon enough, I saw that things just weren't going my way.

I didn't make any sports teams, I failed my theater audition and everyone seemed to be too involved in themselves to reach out or care about other people. Fast friends seemed to drift away and I was more desperate than ever to find something or someone to connect with.

I knew that theater was a long-term goal and something that I really wanted to improve on and be able to come back to. However, it seemed as if I had hit a dead end.

When we had our mandatory meetings with our class counselors, I made a leap of faith and decided to transfer out of my art class and into the chorus program. Being in chorus exposed me to a whole world of people who shared the same aspirations as me. Soon after that, I joined a school Improv Club.

Coming out of my shell at the Improv Club was hard, but everyone, from seniors to freshmen, was so supportive. I felt a new sense of family and enjoyed being able to hang out with older kids and people who I would never have thought to associate with before.

Even though I sometimes felt lonely or different at school, I could always look forward to after-school chorus rehearsals, dance or an improv show. With my new friends beside me, I worked as hard as I could to reach my prized goal of making the next year's musical.

What I realized was that I had been looking for "normal" when I didn't even know what that meant for me. Being part of something — even though it was something I hadn’t expected — made me more confident, and everything seemed easier to get through with real friends by my side.

Last Reviewed: January 2020