Dating Violence: Signs and Risks
Sometimes relationships don’t work out. The danger signs of an unhealthy relationship can include:
- Lack of honest communication.
- Lack of listening.
- No trust.
- Lack of Respect.
These warning signs can act as “red lights” in your relationship. You can stop and figure out if your relationship is abusive before things get out of control.
Characteristics of Your Partner
If two or more of the following descriptions apply to your relationship partner, you could be in an abusive relationship — or you could potentially be in a relationship that may become abusive.
Are you going out with someone who:
- Is jealous and possessive, won’t let you have friends, constantly checks up on you and won’t accept breaking up?
- Tries to control you by being bossy, telling you how to dress, giving orders, making all the decisions and not taking your opinions seriously?
- Puts you down in front of friends or tells you that you would be nothing without the relationship?
- Scares you?
- Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do?
- Threatens you?
- Uses or owns guns or other weapons?
- Is violent?
- Has a history of fighting, losing temper quickly or bragging about mistreating others?
- Grabs, pushes, shoves or hits you?
- Pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex?
- Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
- Has a history of failed relationships and blames the other person for all the problems?
- Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
- Makes you feel like you need to apologize to yourself or others for their behavior when your partner treats you badly?
Risks of an Abusive Relationship
Once you recognize that you’re in an abusive relationship, it can be difficult to know what to do next. Depending on how long the abuse has been going on, you may feel isolated from your old friends and unable to turn to anyone for help. However, there are resources available.
The first thing you need to think about is how to get out of the relationship. Abuse tends to escalate, so the longer you remain in the relationship, the more you are in danger.
Being in an abusive relationship also has serious consequences for your mental and physical health. Potential risks include:
- Loss of appetite
- Headaches
- Nervousness
- Weight loss
- Bruises or broken bones
- Sadness
- Self-blame
- Confusion
- Anxiety
- Guilt
- Shame
- Mistrust of self
- Mistrust of others
- Depression
- Fear
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Terror
- Permanent injury
- Homicide/murder
- Suicide
Last Reviewed: November 2018