Tips for Labor Partners

Labor is a big event, not only for the person giving birth but also for the partner who will be by her side. Your role is important — you can help her feel safe, supported and loved. The following guide walks you through what may happen before and during labor, how she might feel and simple ways you can be there for her.

A Few Weeks Before the Due Date

In the last month of pregnancy, her body will start showing signs that it’s preparing for labor. The baby may drop lower into the pelvis, she may have more practice contractions, and her cervix may begin thinning and opening. You might notice extra discharge, or that her weight levels off or drops a little.

During this time, her emotions can swing between excitement and exhaustion. She may be full of anticipation one day, then restless or even a little down the next. Sleep can be difficult, leaving her very tired — yet she may also have surprising bursts of energy and want to get everything ready at once.

This is the time to simplify life where you can. She should be packing her hospital bag, practicing her relaxation and breathing techniques, and napping when she’s able. You can make a big difference by pitching in with household chores, encouraging her to rest, and offering lighthearted diversions — maybe a short walk together, a meal out or practicing breathing side by side.

Early Labor

When early labor begins, she may feel a mix of excitement and nerves. She might notice contractions, lose her mucus plug, or feel her water break. In this phase, she’ll likely be chatty and restless, wanting to stay busy even though her body is working hard.

Encourage her to continue normal activities during the day, or to try to rest if it begins at night. Light meals, showers or even small routines like washing her hair can keep her feeling calm and grounded. You can support her by timing contractions, reassuring her that she’s ready for this, and taking care of daily tasks like meals or childcare. Sometimes, the best help is just keeping her company with steady, calm encouragement.

Active Labor

As labor intensifies and her cervix dilates to 4–7 centimeters, contractions grow stronger, longer and closer together. She may shift from being sociable to more serious and inward-focused. Anxiety or doubt can creep in, and she might not feel like talking much.

This is when relaxation and breathing techniques become especially important. She’ll need to change positions often, sip fluids or suck on ice chips, and rest in between contractions. Your role here is hands-on: offer massage or firm pressure on her back if it helps, bring her cool washcloths, and keep reminding her to stay hydrated. She’ll need encouragement and gentle reminders that she’s making progress. Try to rest when she rests — you’ll both need energy for what’s ahead.

Transition

Transition is often the most intense part of labor, as her cervix dilates the final centimeters. Contractions may come every couple of minutes, lasting up to 90 seconds, with unpredictable peaks. This stage is short, but it can feel overwhelming.

She may become panicky, irritable, or even say she can’t go on. Forgetfulness, trembling, nausea or a strong urge to push can also happen. She may not want to be touched or may lash out in frustration — it’s not about you, it’s the intensity of the moment.

The most important thing you can do now is stay by her side. Remind her that this stage means the baby is almost here. Breathe with her, keep your voice calm, and reassure her that she’s doing it, one contraction at a time. Protect her space from unnecessary interruptions and help her focus. Your steady presence will mean more than you realize.

Pushing and Birth

Once she’s fully dilated, she’ll feel a powerful urge to push. This stage often comes with a wave of relief — finally, she gets to work with her body instead of just enduring contractions. She may feel energized between pushes, but also a strong pressure and a burning sensation as the baby crowns.

Encourage her to choose whatever pushing position feels most comfortable. Support her body physically — help with her legs, shoulders or neck — and remind her to relax her bottom and face. If the care team suggests panting or blowing to slow delivery, coach her through it. And don’t forget — these are the moments you’ll both remember forever, so be ready with the camera if she wants photos.

Delivery of the Placenta

After the baby is born, mild contractions help the placenta separate and be delivered. Compared to birth, this stage is usually quick and gentle. She’ll likely feel exhilarated but also very tired. Holding your newborn skin-to-skin, initiating breastfeeding, or just soaking in the moment will help both mom and baby transition together.

You can support her by staying close, taking photos and holding the baby skin-to-skin.

Bonding and Recovery

The hours right after birth are filled with checks, post-birth care like stitches if needed, and the first moments of bonding with your baby. She may feel hungry, thirsty, emotional and deeply tired — but also full of joy.

Encourage her to eat, drink and rest while also spending time cuddling the baby. Take turns holding, talking to, and simply gazing at your little one. Capture these moments in photos, or make calls to share the good news if she’s ready.

Every labor unfolds differently, but your role as a partner remains constant: be present, patient and supportive. At times, she’ll need your steady hand. At others, your calm voice. And sometimes, just your quiet presence. Remember, you’re not just a witness — you’re part of the team bringing your baby into the world.