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Flirting vs Sexual Harassment

There is a difference between flirting and sexual harassment.

Teens Participating in the Summer Wellness Programs

Teens Participating in the Summer Wellness Programs

Palo Alto Medical Foundation

Nancy L. Brown, Ph.D., M.A., Ed.S

Nancy L. Brown, Ph.D., M.A., Ed.S

Palo Alto Medical Foundation

Flirting

Many times, flirting is welcome attention. It goes both ways, and both people enjoy it. Flirting doesn't make you feel bad. It's perfectly fine for kids to flirt with each other in school.

Flirting is OK because it can be between two classmates who are both doing the flirting, and no one is being dishonored. But it is not OK for adults to flirt with kids. In fact, it is illegal for adults to flirt with kids.

Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is attention or actions that are not wanted and make you feel bad. If somebody flirts and it is unwanted, ask him or her to stop. If they don't stop, it is considered harassment.

It is illegal to harass somebody.

The key difference between flirting and sexual harassment is that sexual harassment is unwelcome. The contact was not invited or accepted. It is one-sided because only one of the people in the situation wants to be in that situation. It does not matter how the harasser says he or she "meant it"; it only matters how it makes you feel.

Sexual harassment is never OK, and nobody ever deserves it. If you are harassed, be sure to report it. If a friend is harassed, talk to them and make sure they report it. The harasser needs to be stopped.

Last Reviewed: October 2013

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