A Husband’s Love That Never Gives Up

Richard Mendelsohn’s life has been defined by courage and conviction — from protesting apartheid in South Africa to building a new life in San Francisco, Calif. Nearly 50 years ago, he met Barbara, the love of his life. Together they raised two daughters, spent summers at a ranch and winery in Healdsburg, Calif., and embraced a vibrant social life.

But about 10 years ago, everything changed. Barbara began forgetting things. After testing, she received a diagnosis they never imagined: Alzheimer’s disease.

“She was a superstar woman,” Richard says. “So smart. So capable — and the funniest person at the table. It didn’t seem possible.”

Support That Makes a Difference

At first, life carried on. They traveled, harvested grapes at the winery and enjoyed poker nights. Then came the day Barbara got lost driving to the ranch. “She called me and said, ‘I think I’m in Santa Rosa.’ That was the moment everything changed.”

Richard became Barbara’s full-time caregiver. “You go from being partners to being a chauffeur, a nurse, a constant presence,” he says.

Sutter’s Ray Dolby Brain Health Center became a lifeline. For nearly nine years, Richard and Barbara attended weekly support groups. “It felt like family,” he says. When Barbara could no longer attend, Richard and other caregivers formed an alumni group that still meets regularly for friendship and advice.

“In our caregiver support groups, spouses feel less alone. They are bound to others who are sharing the same experiences and really know how to listen,” explains Julie Klee, patient and family experience specialist at the Ray Dolby Brain Health Center. “We see powerful friendships form, providing a network of support.”

Expanding Care Across Communities

Sutter Medical Center, Sacramento is now offering a similar caregiver support group, building on a long-standing partnership with the Alzheimer’s Association.

“Our partnership adds an important layer to our multidisciplinary approach,” says Dr. Shawn Kile, chair of Sutter’s Advanced Neuroscience Service Line. “It enhances the comprehensive care we strive to provide. I’m thrilled to see this collaboration expand to include support groups for caregivers in Greater Sacramento.”

With more than seven million Americans living with Alzheimer’s — and millions of aging baby boomers — support groups are vital to reduce isolation and stress, offering emotional validation and practical advice.

Paying It Forward

Barbara now lives in a memory care facility, but Richard’s caregiving journey continues to inspire. He recently made a generous gift to the Ray Dolby Brain Health Center and plans to include it in his estate. He’s also helping form a caregiver advisory committee and hopes to share his experience through videos, podcasts and speaking engagements.

“Alzheimer’s disease is isolating, and support groups relieve some of that isolation,” says Dr. Armen Moughamian, medical director of the Ray Dolby Brain Health Center. “Richard’s generosity is the greatest compliment we can receive.”

Richard agrees: “If we can help other families and expand programs at the Ray Dolby Brain Health Center, we’ll be delighted.”

If you or a loved one are interested in participating in an Alzheimer’s support group, please contact your Sutter Health neurologist to learn more.