Defining a Healthy Relationship
Relationships play a major role in life, especially during your teen years. However, not all relationships are healthy. Sometimes you might associate with people who don’t have your best interests in mind. It’s vital to learn the difference between a healthy relationship and a harmful one.
You are in charge of each of your relationships. That means making conscious choices about relationships, understanding what you should expect from other people and openly communicating with partners about intimate issues.
Use these ABCs as your guide when evaluating current relationships or developing new ones.
A is for Awareness
Awareness in all aspects of a relationship means:
- Using what you know to respect others and demand their respect in return.
- Knowing the consequences of unhealthy relationships, recognizing danger signs and knowing your boundaries.
- Preventing violence by recognizing a lack of power and respect.
- Applying your knowledge to change unhealthy relationships into healthy ones.
You can gain this knowledge through talking with trusted teachers, counselors, family and older friends. The internet and books can also help you find the information you need.
B is for Balance
Balance means being in sync with your partner and having a relationship that is not one-sided — meaning that one person has more control or power than the other.
Communication is the key to staying in balance.
Both you and your partner have to talk about what the other person wants, and listen to what the other person has to say. You need to realize that your partner will have his or her own valuable opinions, and that you have to work together to balance their desires (and vice versa).
You and your friends probably have similar interests, but you are not completely the same. Likewise, you may common interests with family or your boyfriend/girlfriend, but that doesn't make you the same person. You can certainly do things together, but remember that you can have different interests, too.
Make sure you and your partner have time to pursue your own interests as well. If you change in a relationship and adopt all of the other person's favorite things, hobbies, and lifestyles, the relationship becomes unbalanced, which is a very bad sign.
C is for Conscious Choices
Conscious choices include being able to decide what’s the next step in the relationship — you don’t allow things to “just happen.”
Allowing things to escalate on their own is a common excuse that teens use to explain getting into emotional or sexual situations that they don’t always know how to handle. Choices mean you’re able to take control.
Building Blocks
To be Aware, Balanced and make healthy Choices, you need three building blocks:
- Communication skills
- Trust
- Respect
These are the keys to a healthy relationship.
Last reviewed: August 2019