Second-Generation Virginity

Want Your Virginity Back?

Many people who wish they could return to virginity are choosing to become "second-generation virgins." Second-generation virginity is a choice to abstain from sex again for a period of time. For some, that time is a few months; for others a few years or until marriage.

Why Reclaim Virginity?

Everyone who chooses to do so has a different reason. Here are a few:

• Message of abstinence — The word "virginity" has a strong image of abstinence. You may decide you had sex too soon or rethink your decision to be sexually active. Becoming a second-generation virgin is one way to strongly state to others and to yourself that you've decided to abstain from sex.
• Regain a feeling of control — For some, virginity is a state of mind. The origin of the word "virgin" is from the Greek word "Virgo," often associated with goddesses of power. For some, second-generation virginity is a reclaiming of power and control over one's body.
• Reclaiming your sexuality — When someone forces or pressures you to have sex or makes you feel your virginity was "stolen," it doesn't feel like that should be your "first time." Your first time having sex is special, and no one has the right to take that from you. If being raped or pressured into sex happened to you, you're not alone. There is support, and your real "first time" is still to come. Second-generation virginity allows you to reclaim your virginity in such cases.

Be Honest About Second-Generation Virginity

Although you may decide to become abstinent again until the time is right, don't shuffle your past under the carpet and lie to your partner. You should always be honest with your partner about your sexual history.

If you've had sexual contact in the past, let your partner know and discuss how to protect yourselves from pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Last Reviewed: October 2019