4 Reasons Teens Should Get Privacy at Checkups
Today’s parents want to help their children in every way. But too much help at the doctor’s office might not be what’s best for your child.
“Kids need private time with their doctor. They need to practice how to talk with their doctor,” says Nancy Zises, M.D., FAAP, a Sutter pediatrician.
“Many parents are well-intentioned but often want to do all the talking in a doctor visit. If a child doesn’t learn how to speak up about their health while they’re living at home, how are they going to handle going to the ER or the doctor when they’re in college?”
Pediatricians value the perspective of parents, Dr. Zises says. However, kids should learn to describe pain or discomfort in their body. “Even 5-year-olds understand where and how they hurt,” she says.
Dr. Zises offers four tips to help children develop a strong and healthy relationship with their doctor.
- Encourage your kids to speak for themselves.
Have your child be the first one to talk to the doctor then offer your observations. This helps children learn to become their own health advocate. It also helps encourage confidence and self-esteem. - Check embarrassment at the door.
There’s nothing about the human body that the pediatrician hasn’t heard before. Frank talk leads to a better diagnosis and treatment. “Honestly, if a child has a tummy ache, we have to talk about poop,” Dr. Zises chuckles. Overcoming awkwardness about sensitive topics helps kids build greater awareness of their bodies. - Tell the total truth.
“This is not the time to leave out details,” says Dr. Zises. “Be honest, even if you think it’s something we don’t want to hear.” Perhaps a child tried a substance or ate something they shouldn’t have. The doctor needs to know. - Know that your doctor is always on your side.
“We’re not there to rush a family out of the clinic. We’re not going to tell parents about sensitive things unless a teen gives us permission first,” Dr. Zises says. Children need to know they have a safe place at the doctor’s office.
Privacy Matters for Teens
Under California privacy laws, teens ages 12–17 have the right to health information privacy. They can speak to their doctor alone and receive care for certain issues — sexual health, pregnancy, birth control, substance use and mental health — without parent notification.
Doctors may not share these details with parents unless the teen consents.
At the same time, parents can still be involved in their teen’s care. At Sutter, parents can request proxy access to their teen’s My Health Online account. This allows parents to schedule appointments and message the care team, while teens maintain control over their private health information.
Staying Involved at Home
Parents should continue encouraging open conversations at home and stay engaged in their teen’s daily life. You’ll pick up a lot just driving them to activities or checking in about routines.
“You’re teaching your kids to grow up at the doctor’s office and in life,” Dr. Zises says. “That’s the goal of every parent.”
